Seeing your world in black and white or in color

I recently lost a dear friend to metastatic prostate cancer. He was interviewed a few weeks before his demise to perpetuate his legacy for his children and grandchildren. During the interview, he was asked what happened after he heard the diagnosis of cancer. He responded that he previously saw the world in black and white. However, after hearing the diagnosis of metastatic prostate cancer, he decided to see the world in brilliant color. He saw the world as beautiful and that he was going to enjoy the limited time he had left.

As physicians, we need to change the lens we use to see our profession and shift from a black-and-white world to a world of color and beauty, and to appreciate the privilege of caring for others. We need to have an attitude of gratitude for the opportunity to be a physician.

Saying thank you with a note

I've used note writing extensively to communicate with patients, with families of patients and with referring physicians. And yet, when I received a note that is not related to patient care, it is surprising and uplifting and emphasizes that note writing (and note receiving) is so important.

In this age of artificial intelligence (AI) and the age of information, we are bombarded with electronic messages, television and radio broadcast, faxes and even computerized bulletin boards. There's a generation of young people who do nothing but text each other and seldom make use of the phone or face-to-face interactions with peers and friends. A handwritten note is now rare, and therefore, a powerful method of communication. It tells the recipient that you thought about them following your face-to-face or telephone encounter. A note tells the person you value them and allows you to reinforce the points discussed during your encounter.

Let me share an example.

Several years ago, I had the pleasure of a five-minute meeting with Coach Lou Holtz, who at the time was the head football coach at Notre Dame. One week after meeting the famous coach, I received a personal note from him, acknowledging our meeting and highlighting several points we had discussed, including our mutual interest in motivating others to reach their full potential.

I called Coach Holtz and asked him how he was able, with his busy schedule, to not only find time to write such a personal note, but to remember details from our brief conversation. During our subsequent conversation, Coach Holtz shared some of his note-writing secrets and illustrated how notes can have a similar empowering impact on people in your life. We covered the following points:

To whom should you write?

Coach Holtz suggests writing to anyone you want to express gratitude, appreciation, congratulations or acknowledgment to. Coach Holtz writes his barber or a waitress if he is receiving good service. If someone goes the "extra mile" for Coach Holtz or his family, they receive a personal note. Coach Holtz is so committed to note writing that he encouraged his coaching staff and all his players to write at least one note a day.

Handwritten or email?

Handwritten thank-you notes are considered more important than texts or emails. Research suggests that expressing gratitude through written letters can have mood-enhancing effects. A handwritten thank-you note probably has a greater impact than an email note. A quick text or email is better than no card at all. My preference is to send an email quickly, often on the same day as the interaction with another person. Of course, if you are interviewing for a position, a timely handwritten note is better, as it will likely set you apart from other applicants.

How do you remember to whom you will write?

The best way to remember seems to be to write yourself a note! I use voice recognition to create a reminder on my cellphone. When you write or dictate the names of people to write, you can also record a keyword(s) that will jog your memory later about your conversation.

How long should your note be?

According to Coach Holtz, the shorter, the better. The person to whom you are writing may be overwhelmed with junk mail, faxes and letters that must be read and responded to. If your note is short, it is likely to be read. A concise note delivered in a timely fashion is better than a longer note that takes days or weeks to arrive.

What should the content of your note include?

You want to immediately capture your reader's attention. Coach Holtz suggests that the first sentence give the reason for your note. He usually begins his notes by simply stating, "The purpose of this note is..." or "I just wanted to say thank you for..." and then gives the specific reason he's writing.

Why is timing important?

As with all forms of communication, promptness is important. The sooner your note is on the desk or in the hands of the person to whom you write, the greater is its impact. Think of the difference between a note arriving one to two days after you communicated with someone, and a note arriving weeks or months later. If you're serious about incorporating note writing into your practice or into your personal life, you will have to prioritize and organize your day's activities to make time for it.

Why are timely notes so important in building your network?

Social psychologists report that written communication is one of the best ways to enhance a relationship. Everyone enjoys receiving mail, and the thoughts enclosed in a timely, appreciative note can be read and savored for a long time. My encounter with Coach Holtz underscored for me why so many professionals should make use of timely notes.

Coach Holtz believes that the few minutes it takes to write a note of thanks, congratulations or acknowledgment to a friend or colleague is an investment in your friendships and your practice. Today, networking is the contact sport. My encounter with Coach Holtz emphasized that successful professionals, including physicians, have discovered the value of a timely thank-you note.

Two other examples: Physicians often receive lunches provided by the pharmaceutical industry or a vendor representative. I have encouraged my staff to sign a thank-you note for the person buying our lunch. I have repeatedly heard that our note of appreciation is the only one they ever receive from a medical office.

When I sent a patient to the ER and the patient receives good care and shares how helpful the ER physician was, I send them a thank-you note, and I often hear that it is the only one the ER doctor has ever received from a physician.

Bottom line

This article perhaps motivates us to shift from a narrow, black-and-white view of our profession to a more colorful perspective grounded in gratitude, appreciation and human connection. By embracing simple but powerful practices — like writing timely, sincere handwritten notes — we strengthen relationships, reconnect with the privilege of caring for others, and hedge against burnout. Seeing the world in color means noticing people, appreciating moments, and choosing intentional acts of kindness that leave a lasting impact.

Neil Baum, M.D., is a professor of clinical urology at Tulane University in New Orleans. Dr. Baum is the author of several books, including the bestselling book Marketing Your Medical Practice: Ethically, Effectively, and Economically, which has sold over 225,000 copies and has been translated into Spanish.